How we're Remembered
by OzoraWings
Summary: You were dying while saving us, you past while light filled the darkest of tunnels, and even after death, you continued to save people. The only promise I can give you now, is to remember, to remember the life I had been apart of, if only for a few days. Two-shot. 'T' for safety.
1. The time that you died

Disclaimer: I do _not_ own any of the featured media, the rights go to their respected owners.

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How we're Remembered.

Two-shot.

I had never prayed before this, before being trapped in a tunnel with no way out; I never thought I would have to. My views on God were loose; I didn't have a religion and I didn't want to praise or blame some unknown deity for my success or problems - I wanted to stand on my own two feet and walk.

That, in itself, may sound ungrateful or naïve, but at the ripe old year of sixteen, I had honestly never thought that I'd be in a train derailment, but even then, I didn't change my view point; things happen all the time, I've lead a normal life up to now, something bad was bound to happen sooner or later, no one can be lucky forever.

It's strange, but even while knowing that I was trapped in a blocked off tunnel, did I lose hope, I never had a chance to, because we had a savoir, an angel without wings, that kept us going - alive and well. I met him as soon as I climbed into the other side of the train; looking for an exit and survivors, everyone on my side had died on impacted.

I had instantly hit it off with Otonashi, as soon as he carried me of the train wreck and looked over my injuries, we we're friends. The guy was a little unassuming and he honestly couldn't see his importance, but everyone else did. He was gentle and could be a little outspoken, but there was also something about him that demanded to be heard and listened to. And I knew, on that first day, that he was going to be a great man; it was weird looking at him, and then at myself, we were around the same age, I think, so why was there such a difference between us?.

From that point on, he never did stop impressing me, from the care and patience he showed the others, to how hard he worked in looking after us, and my opinion only grew when a teen had tried to steal the last of our water; it had been a big blow to everyone - worries were growing and resolves were weakening, and they were just looking for blood.

Sensing the mounting danger, our doctor stepped forward, claiming the water slipped as his and that, to make up for it, he wouldn't drink from there on out. His selfishness completely defused what could have been a bad situation, and lead me to continue to believe that all of us would get out alive.

I would be proved wrong.

The worst of our injured, the kind middle-aged man, Minoru Juro died. I had been checking on everyone, as Otonashi had fallen asleep for the first time since the crash and I could tell he needed it; he seemed to be getting more and more unsteady lately, so a good rest was probably a good thing. But as I was about to sit down, the middle school kids called me over, a little frantic, as I ran to them.

The man had slumped out of the makeshift chair, me and Otonashi had made from the seating from the train. I bent down and touched his neck, feeling for a pulse, like I had seen Otonashi do, and instantly reeled back; he was cold. I cried out to my friend, who took a few seconds in getting up before he sprinted over, repeating what I had done, before he started to mutter curses, quickly laying the man down as he proceeded to desperately try and bring Minoru back, pounding the man's chest with all his strength as the seconds ticked by, breathing air into the man's lungs and repeating this all over again.

Nothing.

There was nothing. So I stopped him, planting a firm hand on to his trembling shoulder, and followed me back as I gently coaxed him to sit on his knees, Otonashi whimpered "Damn it"

I realised then, that he was falling apart, our lives rested on his shoulders and he was feeling the burden, he was feeling the responsibility for keeping us alive.

It wasn't long after that that we all stopped moving, we no longer could; the air was becoming thinner and thinner, and the reserves of water and food were all gone, but that didn't stop Otonashi from showing me one more, final miracle.

"Igarashi…do-do you have a pen?" my friend wheezed beside me, it took awhile for me to process the question, but I managed a smile 'yes' as I remembered the one I kept hooked to my pocket, tentatively handing it to him.

"Here you go"

I watched through blearily eyes as he took out his donors card from where we lay, neither of us able to register the cold, hard ground, the grit or the stones underneath us - our body's completely numb, and shutting down, as Otonashi had my full attention. His weak hand, barely able to hold the pen as he bought it a cross the card, circling.

He was giving it all away.

"I swear…" I muttered, allowing my voice to trail, unsure of were I was going with that sentence, myself.

I swear your a brilliant man.

I swear that if you had more time…

Using the last of my energy, I pushed my hand into my school jacket, dragging out a card that I never really took notice of, a card that none of use really took notice of, and started to fill in the desired boxes with another pen, I kept handy, just encase.

"W-what's that?" a voice by side asked, my hearing picking up a few moans and groans as the others had started to move into more comfortable positions, as they looked at the two of us.

"I-if you sign this, even by some reason you die, your life - your life can be used to help another. You can save someone" I said, flashing the man my card.

By this time, we had gotten everyone's attention, so I swallowed past my dry throat, and tried to wet my tongue with the little salvia I had left, forcing my voice to be as loud as it could because I knew, at best it would be weak, as I pushed down with my stomach. The lack of oxygen made me feel faint and sick as I emptied my lungs.

"Gives you meaning to you're life" even after all my effort, it still sounded like a whisper, but it was enough, and like all the other times, we followed his lead, the good-natured and strong doctor-to-be, because one way or another, he was saving us, like he had been all this time.

Everyone had a pen or pencil in their hand, the sounds of scribbling made me want to laugh, but I didn't; I was too tried, so I turned to my friend instead, his face barely visible to me, in the dark, as I started to speak again -

"Ha, you know, you really are amazing Otonasi" I smiled, looking at everyone, fondly "Just look: they were in the pit of despair, but now their trying to give hope to others"

"You saved every one of our lives, Otonashi" I said, expecting some kind of denial, as it grew harder and harder to continue, but I was determined to finish because "we owe you"

There was silence while I waited for some kind of reply "Hey, Otonashi?" I whisper, trying to get his attention "hey Otonashi?" I repeat through my coarse voice, slightly worried as he didn't react; nod in acknowledgment, or flinch from my addressing him, he wasn't moving.

"Can you hear me?" I asked, my concentration spliting as a rumbling sound caught my attention. The next thing that followed made my heart stop; shouts from outside and the faint murmurings of the others justified that I wasn't daydreaming, when beams of light broke through the wall.

They had found us.

But I barely had time to feel excited as my hazy mind wouldn't allow it, I turned from the crumbling wall, and back to my friend, and with new eyes I look upon him, able to see what I couldn't before, and I panicked. He was staring up to the ceiling, his right hand resting on his side, with his card and pen dangling from his fingers.

The items dropping seconds later.

My breathing hitched, and my empty stomach churned painfully in denial as I thought for one grim second, that this was how Otonashi must have felt when he couldn't save Minoru, this is what he must have felt when he watched over us.

"Otonashi?" I strangled, while I tried to get up and move, but I couldn't; I was useless. Soon after, there were medics, firemen and policemen swarming the area, while I continue to stare pleading at my friend, my sight was blurring from the onslaught of light, but by the time one of them got to us, I couldn't bring myself to talk.

I knew what this meant.

Too late.

They were too late.

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**A/N -**

No matter how many times I watched _Angel Beats_, I cry, I mean I'm not the best judge on these kinds of things, because I can cry quite easily, but this was really sad. I loved the colourful backgrounds and although the characters were rather simple, there were done well.

So I can't really remembered when I thought of this, it might have been the first time I watched this anime, but I found myself wondering 'What happened after Otonashi died?', and other thoughts about how you never know how your going to be remembered after you pass, and what not, so I came up with this.

It was meant to be a one-shot, but I couldn't fit it all in the way I ordinarily thought I'd be able to, so instead it's a two-shot, the aftermath is going to be one the next chapter.

But please be gentle, this is my first _Angel Beats_ , so sorry if it seems OCish.

Otonashi's past was pretty tragic, wasn't it?, don't you think it was sad that he died right when the light flooded the tunnel?...

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I** Apologise **if there are any mistakes in my spelling/ grammar, or if you find anything I have written offensive.

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**Thank you** to everyone who added _'How we're Remembered_' to their favorites/ alerts or who took the time to review, you also have my gratitude for reading.

**OW**


	2. And the time spent remembering

Disclaimer: I do _not_ own any of the featured media, the rights go to their respected owners.

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How we're Remembered.

Two-shot.

I walked up the sloppy embankment with familiar easy, feeling my heart becoming heavier with every step I took, until I reached the clean headstone with two potted plants either side, his name written down it's surface, and I had to laugh at the irony; I owed that man everything, yet I only learned his first name on the day that he died. I ended up chocking on that strangled sound that escaped my lips as I pushed it down, lowering myself onto the grassy plane while I placed my palm on the marker.

"Hello, old friend" I greeted with a coarse voice as I swallowed "sorry, I haven't been around in a while" it had been ten years since he past; to start off with, I'd come whenever I needed to, nearly everyday, and as the months past that grew to weeks, until I would only come on the twenty-third; the date he died. It's been five years since my last visit, and I can't offer up any excuse; I just got swept under with my job and family, and if I was being really honest, it would be because I just didn't want to see him.

I always feel guilty, now more then ever as I've grown and have been reminded just how much Yuzuru Otonashi lost out on; a girlfriend, a wife, love, a child, the joy of watching that child grow and the feeling of settling down, he'll never have that. And every since that day, I've asked myself why.

Why wasn't I paying attention?, Otonashi was focusing on us, and I felt disgusted when I learnt just how badly injured he truly was, and how badly he had been neglecting himself; how badly I had been neglecting him, I should have looked after him better, because God knows he wouldn't have, he didn't.

It was three days after we were found, at the hospital, when I would learn that Otonashi had been bleeding internally since the crash, and that he must have been experiencing discomfort; and that's what hit me the hardest, not only had he died, but he had been in pain while continuing to do his job.

I also found out that his only family, his little sister had also died and that there was no one to release the body to, luckily the train derailment had gotten a lot of press, as well as Otonashi's story, as he would be famed as the hero who saved the current survivors, for without him everything would have been a lot worse, far worse. So people started sending in money; I had never really seen anything like it, he had touched everyone's hearts, so much so that he was honoured with the title he was working towards; the title 'doctor', that was written on his headstone.

A lot of medical staff involved commented on well he did, but none of us needed to be told that; as soon as we were free and the news was broken to us, there was understandably not a dry eye, everyone who had been trapped in the tunnel had come to his funeral and paid their respects; I still didn't think it was enough, because that accident never should have happened.

All those people shouldn't have died.

He never should have died.

Which was something that was made painfully clear when the press started to name and shame the people who were meant to be cleaning the tracts; a lot of people were fired and a lot of the management were forced to quit, I became pretty bitter about it, but that has long since past and I've made my peace with it now.

Sighing, I rub the back of my neck with my free hand "I…I got a promotion at work last week" I smile slightly, trying to picture his face as it had become fuzzy over the years, and I have to wonder, would he be proud?, a few weeks after I was released from the hospital I poured myself into my studies; I was never stupid, but I decided after nearly dying that I'd do something with my life; I wasn't going to waste it. So I pushed myself, I dragged myself through high school and college until I finally started training to be a teacher.

I guess I have him to thank for that as well, how I wish I could. _Man_, I must be getting old; reminiscing like I'm at the end of my journey - how knows, I'm sure he didn't think that day was going to his last, when he stepped on to that train; I never knew how unpredictable this world could be until then.

"I'll keep my promise to you" I murmur as I lean forward and allow my forehead to lean against the headstone "I promise to remember you" it's the only thing I could do after you had gone; to make sure that your memory would live, if anything.

It wasn't much, and I wished I could do more.

"Honey" a soft voice called from over my shoulder, my ears perked to the familiar tone as I gradually move my now stiff muscles, until I'm sat back on the grass, looking back to see my wife and son, standing hand-en-hand, but five feet away, the little boy looked at me curiously; he doesn't understand death, and he doesn't understand loss and sometimes I envy him, while others I want to protect him from the truth that surrounds life.

"Daddy?" he asks, as he tilts his head, untangling his fingers from his mother's, as he totters over to me, looking at me for a moment before he plops himself down on my lap "what are you doing?"

I chuckle, ruffling his thick hair "I was talking to a very important friend" I say, he looked back at me before he followed my line of sight, until they fall onto the headstone, silence following a I vaguely register my wife put her hand on my shoulder.

"Daddy's important friend's a-a stone?" he asked, and I smiled down onto him sadly, before I shake my head, his eyes glint with interest as his lips slip apart. He turns six in a few days, and they were true when they say they grow up too quickly, too soon; it feels like it was just week, that he was but a baby.

"No, he's sleeping now, I come here hoping that he'll hear me" I reply, after a moment of thought of how to phase my words, the hand on my shoulder squeezes in comfort as I once again open my mouth "this is the closet place that I can get to, to be near him" I murmur, my face falling for a moment before I try to push my muscles into a smile.

"Do you know that your named after him?" I inquire, though I know I've never mentioned it, I just wanted to get away from the subject, and it seems to work as all the unasked questions that he was preparing to voice are forgotten with the new found knowledge in it's place.

"I-I'm named after daddy's important friend?" I nod. 'Yuzuru' means to convey, which had always got me thinking what my little boy will bring to the world, what he will chose to 'convey'. It had been prefect, and it suited both of them perfectly.

"My friend was really clever" I tell him, speaking in a way that he'll understand "he was a kind man…" I stop momentarily as I wonder why I keep describing him as a 'man', he was only seventeen; he never made it that long; maybe it was because he seemed so far away…

"He was doctor, and save a lot of people, and made them feel better" I finish, flicking the boy's nose after a few seconds of looking onto his awestruck face; he blinks out of it and chortles the most endearing sound "he was the best person I have ever met, which is why I named you Yuzuru" I tell him as he breaks into a huge smile.

"R-really?" he questions, as he oozed excitement and pride, and I couldn't help but laugh at him.

"Yes, because you're the best son I have" I tell him as I faintly hear my wife giggle at us.

"I'm your only son" he retorts with humour and I fake pain, though it soon becomes real with his next questions "daddy…when's he coming back?" I should have expected this; who wouldn't want to meet the person their named after?

"I come here to talk to him, but he lives in here" I reply, while tapping my heart.

He lives on, in the people he touched. He lives on in the people he continues to save even now; with the organs he gave to people he had never met.

Yuzuru pouted at that "Then I can't meet daddy's important friend?"

I half frown and half smile "Maybe one day, but I'll probably be meeting him before you do, and if you beat me to it then I won't forgive you" I taunt childishly, though in all seriousness, I mean it; I don't want him dying before I do - I don't want to bury my son "time to go" I inform after a minute or so in silence, picking the boy up along with myself as I get up off of the ground; my legs are sore and somewhat dead as I straighten myself - how long was I sitting there?.

Straddling Yuzuru to my hip, I carry him over to the headstone as I place my hand on it one final time, in ways of a goodbye "I'll visit again soon" I say as I bend down, my son leaning a little out of my grip as he mirrors me and pats the surface.

"Bye bye" he says, making a lacklustre smile appear on my face, before I nod my head and let my fingers linger on the cold surface.

"Goodbye" I murmur, because it's not my time yet, nor is it Yuzuru's, and as I turn around while carrying my son, I rejoin my wife, who had been watching intently, and take her by her hand, which she squeezed, and continued to walk away.

Because it's not my time yet, not yet. So, Otonashi, where ever you are, I want you to know that I haven't forgotten, where ever you are, and that I hope that your happy…

That's all I can wish for you.

Because it's not my time yet…

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**A/N - **

*Sigh* This was depressing to write,...but I hope I did a decent job on it; it's pretty hard to write in the first person.

Now before anyone's gets confused, this is a normal person; he doesn't know of the battle-front or the other world Otonashi was sent to, so his views on death and where or where may not have been sent afterwards are also normal, I hope that clears up any questions.

So did I surprise anyone?, was anyone expecting that?

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I** Apologise **if there are any mistakes in my spelling/ grammar, or if you find anything I have written offensive.

* * *

**Thank you** to everyone who added _'How we're Remembered_' to their favorites/ alerts or who took the time to review, you also have my gratitude for reading.

**OW**


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